I Got Life

It's funny. I read the other blogs from my fellow Osage Tribe members, and quite a few of them are talking about how weird it is that they find themselves in Hair at exactly the moment when they're going through major life transitions. Well, I join the ranks of the confused, seeking, and transitional.

But I know it's no coincidence that we're all doing Hair together at this moment in this place, a show that opens up our mystical third eye and reminds us that the rules we're all used to aren't necessarily the best rules to live by, that there is far more to life and living than most people may ever know. And the hardest and scariest thing of all is finding out who you really are deep, deep down, where most people will never look.

I'm going through some rough times these days, and not just because bad things have happened to me, but because my eyes are being opened -- again, bigger, wider -- and while I recognize that this is healthy for me in the long run, it's difficult and scary in the short run. It's tough really facing yourself naked and bullshit-free, and I can't help but think about that scene in "The Empire Strikes Back," when Luke goes into the tunnel on Dagobah, thinking he's battling Vader, but when he takes the helmet off, it's Luke! Yep, that's where I am right now. Wishing I had left the helmet on.

Rebirth always sounds like a good thing, but it's as painful as being born the first time, just in a different way -- this time the pain is all on the inside. But that doesn't make it any less traumatic.

I'm hoping Hair will heal me. It's done it for me before. This wasn't just a good time to do Hair politically; it also turns out to be a good time for me personally -- and apparently, for a bunch of others in our tribe. After all, "walking in space, we find the purpose of peace."

Amen, brother.
On with the Groovy Revolution!
Kerouac