They're Peeing on Prom Night.

Had choreography rehearsal today -- Robin staged all the dance in the prom scene. And the "Hand Jive" choreography is so great -- it looks so spontaneous, like these kids are really at a dance, instead of just doing choreography in a musical. It really looks authentic. Very cool.

But then...

Don't ask me why, but I tuned in to that abomination on NBC again, that evil-doing reality show created to crush the spirit and destroy the memory of the real Grease! Why would I put myself through that again? Why would I torture myself with images of cynical showbizzers peeing on one of the great rock musicals? I told you not to ask me that!

So the remaining contestants (using that word about people auditioning for the theatre HURTS ME!) finished tonight's episode singing and doing choreography to "We Go Together." I suppose I should be grateful they're at least doing songs from the stage show now, instead of the disco and country songs from the movie.

But the choreography made my soul ache -- Merciful Heavens, surely that's not what this show is going to look like! These grinning Ken and Barbie dolls were flailing around like low-rent robot cheerleaders on crystal meth... (The robot cheerleader meth problem is gonna destroy America if we're not careful!) If that's what this new Grease is gonna be, just shoot me now. No, better yet, shoot the producer.

Once upon a time, Broadway was both commercial and artistic. Not anymore. Well, not much anyway... sometimes art still sneaks onto Broadway, but it's getting more and more rare...

One consolation -- our greasers could totally take their greasers in a rumble. We'd tear their matching pastel t-shirts off 'em and pound some Tough into 'em... And then we'd give them back their penises and force 'em to sing songs that are actually from the stage show, like "All Choked Up"-- now that's sexy!

Long Live the Musical!