Zen and the Art of The Wild Party

I used to spend much of the rehearsal process worrying about the end -- will this thing or that thing work itself out, will the singers be heard over the band, will the staging work, will people be offended by this or that, will the audience "get it," what if it's not polished enough, what if my ideas aren't as good as I think they are...

Worrying that much is a lot of work.

I realized today that I'm just not that guy anymore. Maybe it's about being 45 (well, 46 as of this weekend...). Maybe it's about how many shows I've directed. Maybe it's those books on Zen philosophy I've been reading the last couple years. But for the last several shows, I don't think about the end product much at all anymore. I don't worry about the show itself. (I still worry about having a space, selling tickets, etc., but not about the artistic end.)

Probably some of that is because there really isn't a risk of sucking anymore. I don't think New Line Theatre has ever done a bad show -- we've done some that weren't as good as others, but a lot of our shows are home runs, and the ones that aren't are still doubles or triples... But when we work on material this brilliant, show after show, with artists this talented and skilled and committed, it's not possible to end up with a sucky show. It's just not.

So I find now that I just enjoy the adventure. I no longer wonder what the reviewers or my mother will think. I just let the material and my fellow artists take us where we go. As Buckaroo Banzai says, "Wherever you go, there you are!" (If you've never seen The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, you're missing out...) In other words, we're always in the act of going somewhere. Always. Destinations are never the end. (As anyone who's seen Into the Woods can tell you...)

I'm now okay not knowing exactly what our destination is. I know we'll get there, one way or another. How could I look at this amazing cast of 16 wildly talented people, our designers, and everybody else involved, and not feel GREAT...? I look at this script and listen to this score and there's no doubt in my mind that most people who see this will be amazed by it, totally entertained by it, and deeply moved by it. No, we're not a union company and we don't have a big budget and millionaires on our board, but dammit, we get to work with incredible people on many of the most beautiful, most artful, most adventurous works this art form has ever produced. Fuck Broadway. Seriously. I'm so completely in musical theatre heaven here...

I used to have to "sell" the actors on every show, convince them that it will be cool, that they will be proud of it, that people will like it. I almost never have to do that anymore. That may have something to do with my own new found calm and Zen-icity. But I think it's more about our agenda. We're not here to make money, to have a "hit," to be loved by everyone -- we're here to make good art and tell the best story we can tell. Whatever the end product, I know it will be the best story we can tell. And that's plenty. If some folks don't like it, that's okay too. We know our work is not for everyone. But our nineteen years of sell-outs prove our work is for LOTS of people...

Which makes it very easy to be very Zen about the whole thing. And it allows me to like rehearsal more than I used to. There's no pressure anymore, other than doing my best. And if I'm working on a musical, "my best" is my favorite thing in the world to do...

Long Live the Musical!
Scott